I wrote this poem as a tribute to the wonderful years I had in Italy.

A soft warm breeze played around my ankles

As my bare feet felt the heat of summer on the well-worn grassy path

The scent of hazy days hung in the air – enticing

I smiled as I came upon you

In the midst of a sea of yellow

Glorious sunflowers whose petals reach out craving attention

I rushed to join you; to dance amongst you

My carefree limbs twirling as the trace of a breeze kissed my face

I stand and marvel, drinking in your scent, savouring every moment

Experiencing this feeling of endless joy and pleasure

Where the beauty of life is omnipresent in this field of entrancing sunflowers

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln

How many times have we said the wrong thing only to later regret it. For some, this is a rare occurrence, however for others it regularly happens and the old ‘foot in mouth disease’ can have far-reaching consequences. When we communicate fully, both verbally and non-verbally, being aware of how we communicate can open our eyes to a world where our opinions are valued and not dreaded. I have set out a few points which I see as ‘food for thought’.

If you speak in anger, you are not thinking with the logical side of your brain. Therefore, what you say will be meaningless and very often hurtful. Try counting to ten and taking a step back before you speak in anger.

Observing yourself in a given situation is always a good idea. If you are constantly saying the wrong thing, it is in response to perhaps being ‘put on the spot’. If this is the case try to be aware of these types of situations and change your approach to one of listening and remaining calm before responding. 

Take heed and pay attention to what is being said. Trip ups of the tongue occur when what is being said is not fully comprehended. Let your mind process the information around you, and then speak from a place of understanding.

Observe other people when they communicate. People communicate in many different ways and being able to read body language will give you a pretty good indication of how someone is going to react to what you say.

Very often it is not what you say but how you say it that does the damage. Try to imagine your spoken words as having a goal of their own, and that is to convey your message in a positive way. People have many facets, and once the spoken word has taken flight and crashed, it is difficult to repair the damage.

Do not speak unnecessarily, or because you feel obliged to. If you are not familiar with the dialog, then listen, after all meaningful conversation is much more than just noise.

Always be aware of how you think others might react to what you are about to say. If you are going to contribute to a conversation, then try to create an atmosphere which elicits people’s understanding of this.

The tone of a person’s voice speaks volumes. If the right tone does not match the body language or compliments your content, then the right message will not be conveyed.

Even if your words were not intended to hurt, try to remember that a person’s perception is their reality. And in these circumstances it is always better to apologise.

The art of communicating can, for some, be difficult to perfect, however with patience, thoughtfulness and insight it can become a vital part of your life, making what you say valued, respected and sought after.

Eyes scanning the crowd

Expectant, yet wary

Clutching the fading blooms

Your smile completes the facade

Just one pitiful sale

The difference between life and death

Memories of the border crossing

The pain of your mothers’ goodbye

You pull her memory around you

Like an old familiar blanket

As you walk in quiet trepidation

Feeling emptiness in tow

You show the courage born of loss

A strength that defies the pain

Lifting your head to gaze at the sky

You pray for a little soul needing to go home

Another eight year old angel

With broken wings

Let everyone who has passed this way

Be accountable for each day

Save our rainforests so we all can breathe

Rein in pollution before you leave

Do not let man’s destruction create a world of stone

Once again let our earth be a place we can call home

“The mind is a powerful thing – it can take you through walls.” – Denis Avery

Each and every day we are all bombarded with a series of events or situations which calls for a reaction. How we react can determine how successful we are in life, and what type of mindset we have.

As human beings we are all unique, therefore, it is not always easy to change certain beliefs, opinions or feelings formulated over many years. We often find ourselves in situations where we question ourselves as to why we act and react in certain ways. We know, if we are truly honest with ourselves, that we have certain traits which we do not like, and as a result we keep making the same mistakes over and over again. However, what we can do is confront them, learn how to deal with them and create a new mindset. I have listed below a few guidelines for your perusal.

Listen

The importance of listening is so valuable, and never more so when you are listening to your inner voice, which really knows what you feel and want. Fully understand your inner voice, and the mindset you create will enable you to see situations through different eyes. Listen to the advice of others. Sound advice from someone who has been there can never be underestimated, and can help change a mindset showing you the way out of the woods.

For many, changing your state of mind can take a lifetime. The important thing to remember is never give up. Taking small, sure steps will ensure a successful outcome with unlimited benefits. So go with it, be open to it, and most of all believe you can do it and you will be able to walk through walls.

“Victims of bullying spare themselves distress by detachment; 

denying their ability to experience happiness.” 

– James Horace

In this world of high technology, with all our needs being met at the touch of a button, it is easy to bask in the glory of many wonderful achievements - and quite rightly so - however, when it comes to Cyber Bullying, our world of technology has made it possible to give this despicable pastime an arena all of its own.

Cyber Bullying takes place online and has many forums, such as: blogs, e-mails, chat lines and social networking sites, to name a few. Cyber Bullying comes in many guises, feeding on a cocktail of hurt, stress, isolation, humiliation, fear and sadly in some cases can cause death. 

Usually it takes the form of:

Abusive messages on-line

Spreading rumours about the victim

Prank texts/messages

Humiliating or embarrassing posts of blogs

Sexual videos/pictures being sent to others

This type of bullying is anonymous and as a result there is less accountability by the bully, resulting in the bullying being more intensive, reaching high levels of malicious behaviour with far reaching effects. It is usually 24/7, giving it a wider audience in its relentless pursuit of the victim.

Research has shown that Cyber Bullies do not fit the mould of the traditional bully, who is usually domineering, aggressive and disliked. Very often the Cyber Bully can be a classmate or friend, who may bully for reasons such as: jealousy, peer acceptance, revenge and fun.

The world of the Cyber Bully has a non-stop agenda, with high frequency levels of abuse over a short period of time (usually one month or less), however the results of such intensive bullying can last a lifetime, robbing the victim of ever reaching their full potential as it is very difficult, without therapy, to move on from how this abuse makes you feel.

In order to identify this behaviour, firstly know what to look for:

A barrage of hateful e-mails

Embarrassing images of the victim

Threatening verbal messages

The creation of an almost identical screen name in order to create embarrassing situations for the victim

Once the behaviour has been identified, take the following action:

Ask for help from a parent, teacher or someone you can trust

Do not respond to the bully's messages

Do not threaten the bully

Save the evidence and then block the bully

Safe-proof all of your personal accounts

If you can prove who it is by the evidence then report the bully

Cyber bullying is considered a crime if the following has taken place: hate related comments, intimidation or threats of violence. Report any of this to the police.

I believe that what we do and say in life makes a difference - it’s up to us to decide what kind of difference we want to make. This poem sums up the feelings of those people who have been bullied – it speaks volumes.

"A cool identity isn’t a need,

Let those you bully be freed.

Your identity should be your own,

A better person you will be known."

- Jon Evans

As a counsellor I have seen firsthand the many facets to mental health. I often describe it as “walking a path in your mind, trying to negotiate the minefield it has become”.

In order to help negotiate this minefield, I will be drawing on my own experience of a mental illness, and also using my skills as a counsellor in this field.  My weekly blog will contain information on Mental Health, Wellbeing and I will also include a “Poetry Corner” where you can view my own poems and feel free to submit any poems of your choice. At the end of each blog I will offer up my challenge to the world of bloggers, and look forward to your replies. 

To get the ball rolling, today I am going to shine the spotlight on what I see as a very real obstacle to mental health issues being taken seriously – stigma.

This quote which I have written below clearly outlines the helplessness of those people who are not believed or not taken seriously regarding their mental health problems. As stark as it is, I wanted to draw attention to what I perceive is a real stumbling block on a person beginning their road to recovery.

Ask yourself why.

There are factors which cause mental health stigma – let’s explore them.

Within history itself we can find some answers.

The fact that throughout history people with mental illness have been treated differently. I personally believe that this could be because of the belief that “If you cannot see it, it does not exist." Therefore, ignorance has resulted in the exclusion and even brutalisation of mentally ill people, through the ages. Add to this ignorance the element of fear in the belief that all mentally ill people are dangerous and stigma is born.

Deeply entrenched views.

Today we live in a much more enlightened world – or do we? It is very frustrating to note that within the health service today these negative views regarding patients presenting with mental illness still exist. “How can you help me if you do not believe me echoes time and time again.

Media presentation. 

We are all influenced by what we see and hear on the media platform today. Even though there are various Ads and program drawing attention to the plight of the mentally ill – is it enough? Providing information, regardless of the platform used is always beneficial, however, positive interaction between those who have, and those who have not a mental illness needs to become the norm in society. The best advertisement to end the stigma attached to Mental Health is to end it. Let us all be proactive in getting the word out their. Yes stigma does exist , however, it can and will become a thing of the past.