A Mindful Reminder

“Better to remain silent and be thought a fool, than to speak out and remove all doubt.” – Abraham Lincoln

How many times have we said the wrong thing only to later regret it. For some, this is a rare occurrence, however for others it regularly happens and the old ‘foot in mouth disease’ can have far-reaching consequences. When we communicate fully, both verbally and non-verbally, being aware of how we communicate can open our eyes to a world where our opinions are valued and not dreaded. I have set out a few points which I see as ‘food for thought’.

If you speak in anger, you are not thinking with the logical side of your brain. Therefore, what you say will be meaningless and very often hurtful. Try counting to ten and taking a step back before you speak in anger.

Observing yourself in a given situation is always a good idea. If you are constantly saying the wrong thing, it is in response to perhaps being ‘put on the spot’. If this is the case try to be aware of these types of situations and change your approach to one of listening and remaining calm before responding.

Take heed and pay attention to what is being said. Trip ups of the tongue occur when what is being said is not fully comprehended. Let your mind process the information around you, and then speak from a place of understanding.

Observe other people when they communicate. People communicate in many different ways and being able to read body language will give you a pretty good indication of how someone is going to react to what you say.

Very often it is not what you say but how you say it that does the damage. Try to imagine your spoken words as having a goal of their own, and that is to convey your message in a positive way. People have many facets, and once the spoken word has taken flight and crashed, it is difficult to repair the damage.

Do not speak unnecessarily, or because you feel obliged to. If you are not familiar with the dialog, then listen, after all meaningful conversation is much more than just noise.

Always be aware of how you think others might react to what you are about to say. If you are going to contribute to a conversation, then try to create an atmosphere which elicits people’s understanding of this.

The tone of a person’s voice speaks volumes. If the right tone does not match the body language or compliments your content, then the right message will not be conveyed.

Even if your words were not intended to hurt, try to remember that a person’s perception is their reality. And in these circumstances it is always better to apologise.

The art of communicating can, for some, be difficult to perfect, however with patience, thoughtfulness and insight it can become a vital part of your life, making what you say valued, respected and sought after.

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“The mind is a powerful thing – it can take you through walls.” – Denis Avery

Each and every day we are all bombarded with a series of events or situations which calls for a reaction. How we react can determine how successful we are in life, and what type of mindset we have.

As human beings we are all unique, therefore, it is not always easy to change certain beliefs, opinions or feelings formulated over many years. We often find ourselves in situations where we question ourselves as to why we act and react in certain ways. We know, if we are truly honest with ourselves, that we have certain traits which we do not like, and as a result we keep making the same mistakes over and over again. However, what we can do is confront them, learn how to deal with them and create a new mindset. I have listed below a few guidelines for your perusal.

Listen

The importance of listening is so valuable, and never more so when you are listening to your inner voice, which really knows what you feel and want. Fully understand your inner voice, and the mindset you create will enable you to see situations through different eyes. Listen to the advice of others. Sound advice from someone who has been there can never be underestimated, and can help change a mindset showing you the way out of the woods.

Perspective

To get everything into perspective can be difficult and is very much dependent on each individual’s circumstances. Sometimes we just have to stand back and try to see the bigger picture. We live in a world of billions of people, each with their own issues, large or small. By this realisation alone we can list our own issues in terms of importance and we might be surprised to discover just how unimportant some of them are, when compared with the villager in India who simply wants to drink fresh water each day. By changing this mindset we are in fact de-cluttering our minds and focusing on what really matters.

Happiness

Bring happiness into your life and enjoy some ‘soul food’. Happiness is something you just cannot get enough of. Simply by adopting a more positive and happier outlook, you will automatically feel more relaxed and at peace with the world. Try spending some time each day doing something that makes you smile, and watch as your happier state of mind follows.

Consider Others

This is where appreciation for your own situation comes into play. Spending time in a generous manner, through helping others or offering a kind word when needed, will give you the ability to create a mindset which is open, giving and generous. When you make a difference, you leave a footprint not only on this earth but in the minds of others, which has a rebound effect on you.

Relax

Choose a form of relaxation which suits you, preferably something which will enable you to clear your mind. Yoga or meditations are wonderful tools to help you achieve inner peace and outer tranquility. We often have to deal with stressful situations in our lives, and if we can perfect the art of relaxing our minds, our stress levels will decrease which has an overall beneficial effect on our body and creates a mindset which does not center around chaos.

For many, changing your state of mind can take a lifetime. The important thing to remember is never give up. Taking small, sure steps will ensure a successful outcome with unlimited benefits. So go with it, be open to it, and most of all believe you can do it and you will be able to walk through walls.

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